“I AM the bread of life! Whoever, comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever trust in me will never be thirsty.” ~ John 6:35
When I was a teenager, I could put down some food. Seriously, I could out eat my dad. It took its toll over time as I was overweight, but it also affected the inside where no one could see. I couldn’t stand myself. I felt ashamed both of what I saw in the mirror and what I felt. However, something clicked for me one day. It dawned on me that no matter how much I consumed; I would never be satisfied. That deep rooted realization changed everything for me. Food, well more like the yearning for it, no longer had a hold on me.
As I have grown older, I have learned to recognize other areas of my life that I have tried to fill that hunger up with; material things, relationships, goals. The list could truly keep going. Even things we consider good to do or good to have, we pursue and try to fulfill our days with those things only to find ourselves coming up empty and discontent. Sometimes, we feel shortchanged and disenchanted with life.
Let’s step back to the subject of eating for a minute. When your brain has a chance to recognize that your stomach is full, it tells you to stop eating and you no longer want to continue to eat. You have the satisfying feeling of fullness. Your brain is only able to do this when you are still and not rushing through the meal as well as when your emotions are quieted. This is why any sort of weight loss counselor or professional suggest eating meals slowly. We then recognize we have had all that we really need and do not wish to keep eating.
Now, this is earthly and temporal, but I do think it points to the heavenly and eternal. Only Jesus can satisfy that eternal craving we hunger for and that first step to experiencing that fullness is to recognize that deep, deep chasm of hunger that no earthly thing could EVER satisfy. But it isn’t enough to realize this, we fail to sit still to identify this hunger for what it really is and so we fill it with so many things, both good and bad. Whether it be sinful choices or things we consider harmless or even admirable such as food or ambitious goals, we end up much like how I felt about myself as a teenager..unsatisfied, disenchanted, bitter, and frustrated. Even as a Christian, free from these things, I still find that there are times that I fill my days with so many busy things that I fail to recognize that “fullness” that Jesus promises. Why? Because I fill my days filling MYSELF up or seeking various earthly things only to find myself still searching…still wandering…still hungry. This hit me in the face, recently, as I was going down to my space for my daily devotion. I didn’t even notice the hunger and the frustration that I had been carrying until the Lord asked me “What is it that you are looking for?”. It caused me to notice the stirring that was going inside, but I couldn’t answer Him.
After dwelling on that question for some time now, I realize that I had misplaced my focus on my time with Him and instead of searching Him to just be with Him. I was searching Him for the sake of growth, gifts, talents, knowledge…anything, but just seeking Him to be full of Him. So, now I seek to sit still and allow my soul, heart, brain…all my faculties to register the fullness of Him. I still struggle to do this at times, but I find that when I am able to be still and abide in His presence…and just be, I experience the completeness in Him. I’m at peace and satisfied. As a byproduct, I find myself energized as well as equipped to do the things He has called me to do.
This blog post does not do this heart matter the justice and time it deserves. There is so much more to this, but the intent of this blog is to hopefully stir up and cause readers to ask the hard questions of why we do the things we do and what is it that we are seeking to find fulfillment.
Bye for now