I am learning daily that I cannot change others.
When I am offended or hurt I have learned to take that person’s words or actions to God for true forgiveness and healing but will I allow them to hurt me again? Truth be told I cannot make anyone conform to the image I believe to be right. I CAN ONLY change who I am thereby changing my reactions and what hurts. When I feel hurt, I have to stop and ask why?. Am I insecure in that area? Is there any bit of -truth even if it was abrasive or did they completely filter through their own issues.
The ideal is that I come to a place of forgiving them for their offensive action, thereby I set them and myself free. I find healing, security, identity and maturity in the Father, not in actions and opinions of anyone.
On the other hand, walking in that hurt brings a filter to my own actions, thoughts, and words.
We must be quick to self-reflect, ask forgiveness and be forgiving. At the same time we must be very slow to wrath, and to speak back. Always give the benefit of the doubt. and to be reflective of our own fault over others. If I have a plank in my eye and I keep reaching for my friend’s splinter I am usually beating them to death with the plank and not even realizing it.
I also find that when I see an issue, I should take a moment to be sure that I am not seeing into a mirror, Often times things that bother me most are the very things that God has been dealing with me about!
Most important, Forgiveness is serious business, it releases us to be forgiven by our Father. Mathew 6;14-15