I’ve recently begun a journey. I think it started with me taking a stroll down memory lane, but has ended up being more than initially intended. I’ve been reading some amazing books lately and they’ve struck a chord in me. They’ve revealed quite a few things about me that I realize if I’m going to be the person whom I want to become, I’m going to need to change. This change is going to be painful, difficult, and at time, probably gut wrenching. I see no other way around it. I’ve come to acknowledge that I have some deep seated anger and unforgiveness deep within me. I never noticed it before in the way that you live in the same house for decades and never notice that one floor board that’s slightly discolored or that one knot in the wood paneling. Its anger at people that I’ve carried so long with me it’s become a foundational part of who I am. I like to believe it’s made me stronger, but I fear it also may be tearing me down now.
There’s so much medical and neuroscience has discovered about how not forgiving deteriorates our health and our minds. My health isn’t already great and I wonder how much of that is from my anger and maybe even borderline hatred. This scares me. I have a daughter on the way and she knows nothing of anger or hatred. Both these things are infectious waste that I don’t want her exposed to, especially from me. I got it from my parents, who got it from theirs, and so on and on. I choose to break the cycle here. I choose to love more, to dare greatly, to rise strong, and to forgive wholeheartedly. I chose to let this define me and not my anger or hatred.
I share this here because what journey is worthwhile without traveling companions. I implore you to examine yourself. See if there’s anywhere where someone has hurt you and you still cling to that unforgiveness and take steps to forgive. The three books that have ignited campaign in me are Daring Greatly and Rising Strong by Brene Brown and the book I’m reading currently The Book of Forgiveness by Archbishop Desmond Tutu. If you see me around, feel free to stop me and ask me how the journey goes. If you’re reading this and you’re not near me in a face-to-face sort of way, leave a response in the comments. I’d love to read about how my brothers and sisters in Christ are also shrugging off the chains of Unforgiveness and walking with lighter steps.
Maybe God bless you and keep you