A Cold Gray Day

I came home from work today and Suzanne asked if it was raining outside, I said a light drizzle, and her response was that it was just ‘a cold gray day’.  Now I’m not a weather whiner, you know the type (you may be one), it’s always either too hot, too cold, too wet or too dry.  I met a woman at the hospital in January on one of those sunny 75 degree days we’ve had this year who responded to my comment on the beautiful weather by telling me that she was from Minnesota and it should be gray and cold because it was winter!  I told her to have a nice day.  I’m more of a realist when it comes to weather, it is what it is and I can’t change it so why worry.
Now we are blessed to live in a beautiful part of a beautiful country.  Overall our weather is pretty moderate here, I moved here from the Mississippi Gulf Coast, lived in England a few years and visited many other states and countries, I have to say that we don’t have a lot to whine about here.
Now to the point.
Weather is in many ways similar to living a life of faith.  Some days are sunny, warm and dry, some are cold, wet and gray.  It is what it is, I can’t change it.  Some days I wake up so fired up for God that I feel like singing, some days I feel so far away from God that it’s like walking through mud.  After returning to the Lord a few years ago, I went through the same honeymoon Pastor Nick spoke about where you can’t stop smiling, feel great, love everybody, God is good!!!!!  Those were the sunny, warm and dry days.  How I loved those days but of course in order to become mature in my newly accepted faith, I had to go though the hard part, the part where I had to face up to the things I was carrying around that needed to be dealt with.  Those can be the cold gray days.
At my age I have experienced many different emotional highs and lows.  I’ve been blessed to be present at the birth of two sons, I’ve also been with my mother as she passed.  I’ve seen many great days and more than enough stinky ones.  For a long time I, like many of us, felt like life was just unfair, like I didn’t deserve this struggle and I whined about it.  As God works on me in the many, many places I need work, I’m beginning to be more at peace with the cold gray days when He works with me to repair some of the damage I’ve inflicted on myself and others thorough the years, and I don’t whine much anymore either.
I still have both kinds of days at this point in my life and I still love them all!  On the days when I feel the presence of God so close and personal, it’s a great day.  Those days are the days I’m praising and rejoicing.  But on those days when my heart and my mind feel muddy and confused, those are the times God uses to do some repair work on my soul, and when He does, believe me, that’s a beautiful day as well, and I find that counting blessing and praising Him for His grace just sort of comes naturally.  Just as my earthly father corrected me because he loved me, my Heavenly Father still believes I’m worth the work.  I heard someone say once that if you wake up feeling bad, rather than giving up and wallowing in it, do an ugly job that you have to get done.  You’re already feeling bad so why not do a job that you don’t want to do when you feel good?  It works.
And just as our earth is refreshed and rejuvenated by four seasons, by rain and sunshine, cold and hot, our souls need this same time to recover and build up.  Some time to honestly reflect on the things we have been struggling with, pain, grief, envy, doubt, anger, the list goes on.  In those times letting God hear our moaning hearts and our desperate pleas, is a bit like a roaring fire on a cold gray day, pretty comforting.
So yeah, it’s a cold gray day today, and I’m blessed to have it as well as the sunny 70 degree days we had this week.  I ain’t whining!  I’m praising God for the grace He shows me every day by saving a wretch like me and being a Father who still believes that I’m still worth the work.  Don’t know what tomorrow will bring, not worried either, because cold and grey or sunny and warm, it is the day God has blessed me with.
~ Scott

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