Some days, it seems that bearing the fruit of my labor is next to near impossible. It seems like I’m always still tilling the ground just to sow the seeds. Not just tilling, but doing so uphill with only one mule, a broken plow, while in a sword fight swatting at things that I cannot see. I’m weary, though, accomplishing little. It’s these times that I realize that I still bring my brokenness to the table.
Brokenness. It’s sometimes all we have to offer up to the Lord. It’s hard to fathom that He would want, let alone accept our dysfunction. It’s hard to believe that He could or would make anything good out of our junk. This is where our faith comes in. When we trust God with our brokenness; our frustration, our impatience, our hurt, our past…He shows us His power. This keeps us humble because we understand that all of the fruit did not come from us, but from Him. Also, it assures us of His intense and never ending love for us. Whether He sees us at our best or our worst, He sees all of us and loves us. He just wants us, even when that means all we have to offer is our brokenness.
I have been teaching my son, through Psalm 91, that unrelenting theme to remain trusting in God and keep running to Him for our place of safety. The world offers other routes and its deception is that it will provide comfort, protection, and the desires of our hearts. In the darkest moments when it seems that what is in front of us, so easily for the taking, is the best option; we have to remind ourselves that it is not. We have to cry out and wait on the Lord, trusting that He is a Good, Gracious, and Loving God. HE will rescue us, heal us, reconcile us, protect us, and redeem us. Any other option only leads to destruction.
It is in times like these, that I have to let go of MY vision and take hold of His: a beautiful, healthy green sprout full of live popping up out of dark, broken soil. In doing so, I stay in a constant state of hope which in turn keeps me focused on Him. That even though my vision may not come into fruition in the way I planned; His vision is far better and is perfect. I have to trust and hold fast to that. Remaining still so I can hear His voice saying “This is the way; walk in it.”