I recently lost my ability to worship. Ok, that statement seems a bit big, but that’s how it felt at first. I ruptured an ear drum about 6 weeks ago. I can’t hear out of my left side. At first the pain was excruciating, and I didn’t really notice that I couldn’t worship at least not how I like to. But after the third week, when the music echoed instead of rising and falling in beautiful harmonies, the frustration had set in.
I was so irritated by the lack of hearing, I don’t think I noticed I was skipping my regular times of worship. No corporate worship at church, just mouthing the words. No worship at home during times of study or prayer because the sound never balances right. No loud worshipful singing in the car on errands and carpool and travel. It’s just gone.
I’m not a choir singer. And you will never find me leading in a praise band. But, I love to sing to God. I love music and it’s expression of emotion, surrender, prayer, and gratitude. I miss it.
And while my hearing is gradually returning, it is taking enough time that I need to make little changes. I’m not down for the count, but definitely beat up. I hadn’t really noticed that I had let my situation steal my joy.
I am finding new ways to worship. And when I’m home, I just turn the music up louder and sing any way. I know it’s not the end of the world. It’s just an unexpected disappointment. One, I am sure, you too may have experienced. Maybe not in the same way. But, in the way that sneaks up on you and steals your joy.
What do you do to find your joy in the midst of the bumps and bruises?