Yep, it is indeed April fools day, and as I was searching for a topic to share, I realized that this is the most proper day to start this blog. First, it is April, second, I’ve been playing the fool. As this years unfolds, I am in the process of starting a new business and as I began this new adventure I was surprised that the whole,thing was moving quickly and smoothly and it seemed that God was opening doors in all directions.
Well, of course that was short lived. As is usually the case, little things that alone seemed insignificant starting popping up. Work starting crowding me for the time I need to put this thing together, one of our dogs starting experiencing renal failure (that translates into having pee pads throughout the house), then Suzanne’s car starting a downward slide.
I’m not so naive as to expect smooth sailing all the time. I’m also not strong enough to attempt this on my own without my Father beside me. But I did slip when I stopped depending on His guidance and tried to do it all myself.
As I tried to be strong and tough it out, my old friends anger and negativity showed up, and I let them in. I call them old friends because although I have denounced them and have been forgiven for the sins I’ve committed because of them, they are always resting just within reach waiting on me to crack open the door and here they come. If you have stink bugs right now you will know what I mean. It takes constant work to keep them at bay.
Everyone has these times, I’ve got that, this is one of the hard truths we as Christ followers know will come. Just is. The real measurement for almost anything worth doing in life is not how we respond to the good times, that’s easy, it is how we respond to the hard times. Again, no new ground covered here, but when I respond poorly to the tough times, I’ve got no excuse. I have a loving Father God to lean on, to hold tight to and to be calmed by. My funky mood kicks in when I get so caught up in my own foolishness that I act like I forgot that He is there.
I’m no youngster, I’ve got the years behind me and I’m not remotely new to this faith thing. Sometimes I simply drop the ball and act the fool. I should know better, I should be always prepared for these times. But, as a fallible mortal, I’m no different than anyone else in that I’m pretty sure I can fix things myself. I take pride in having been able to tough out some ugly times, to succeed against the odds and overcome. That’s the point, I was only able to overcome with the grace and love of my Father God, without Him, I am nothing, period.
I think that by sharing my weakness and failure with Him, I become ultimately stronger and closer to the God I so love. This goes against everything that this earthly world represents. I was raised to be a strong independent man, not showing weakness or vulnerability, the husband and father, the worker, the friend who always comes through. Guys will understand this, we don’t like to let our guard down, when we do we feel naked and useless. And that is exactly how we should come before God when it starts to get tough.
I am having to become more like a child to become more like a man. As I embark on this adventure my Father has invited me on, I am reminded of how Christ sent His disciples out, with no change of clothes, money or weapons. He sent them out guarded and guided by the Holy Spirit, that was enough. Too often when I get involved in life and the struggles of each day, I have failed to stop and be thankful for all that my Father, through His Son, has done for me and give thanks. I’m gonna try and not make that mistake again, and yes I said try. Because even if I again slip and fall, I’ve got a Father to pick me up, dust me off and send me back into the fray. Always.
It’s not April fools day now, and I’m feeling more focused and excited about my new adventure, not because I’m the strong independent guy I’ve tried to prove that I was, but because I’m the son of a Heavenly Father who sent His Son to take my place on the cross. He is guiding, I am following, I am nothing without Him and that makes me a stronger man.