If You Loved God More…


Day 1, Day 2, Day 3…. Day 30, Day 31….. And each new day an opportunity to overcome. January is typically our month of big new starts, lifestyle changes and the like. And as February begins, we begin to feel the overwhelming weight of what it really means to keep moving forward.

This year, I started drinking 128oz of water a day. It’s a lot of water and I pee a lot. I also started getting up everyday at 5am and reading my One Year Bible. It’s hard and most days require a discipline that I don’t always possess naturally. But, I’m here and February has begun with my goals in tact.

In February 2008 I started a huge undertaking; I quit smoking. And, for a long time counting each day as a success was enough to keep me focused and on track. It was hard. Yet here I am, 7 years later, celebrating a changed life. In all honesty, I still occasionally get a peculiar urge to pick up a cigarette. How strange? That after so long I would still desire something so terrible.

In 2001, I rededicated my life to Christ. It was an incredible time in my life. I was so overwhelmed and in love with God. I was doing all of the things I thought I should. I was changing and God was doing a work in me that I couldn’t explain.

During this time in my life, I also had the most hurtful thing said to me that I can remember….. “If you loved God more you would quit smoking.”

I was so angry, so heartbroken. How did they know how much I loved God? Didn’t they know all of the things that He was doing in me, how much my heart was changing?

Sin is sin. And transformation is transformation. Grace is grace.

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3….. even our life in Christ is a process. He is working and moving, changing us in ways that not even our closest friends and family may know. It doesn’t happen overnight. And it isn’t about what we are doing or how we are doing it. God didn’t come to make us good people; he came so we may have life, a free life, a life that seeks after His face.

The amount of grace I have received for the sins I’ve committed is unfathomable.

The amount of mercy I have received from my sins is immeasurable.

The freedom I have received in a life in Christ is powerful and transforming. I am changed, from the inside out. I am in love with a Holy God, who daily pulls me into His grace.

May I encourage you, wherever you are on your journey, Day 1 or Day 2056, you are a precious child of God. Your faith will grow, your love will change and He will do an incredible work of freedom in your life.  Do you see how much God loves me, how much he loves you? He set me free from my addiction; it wasn’t ever about how much I was able to love God, but about Him and His power to transform me.



One thought on “If You Loved God More…

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  1. Nicely put… it isn’t about how much we love him. It can’t be… because it isn’t about us! it’s about HIM! His Grace, His Mercy! His power is made perfect in our weakness. It’s a supernatural Love… Agape!

    I know some of those things are still a daily challenge for you, but you know you are worth it. I know you are worth it. And most important of all, God knows you are worth it.

    He is proud of all your accomplishments, no matter how much you love him!

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