“Heal me so I may find you.” ~Nick Rains
It is like God himself placed the words right into my very soul. I am searching. Asking God to speak to me. Pleading with Him. I want you, Lord.
But, I can’t find you.
Am I looking in the wrong places? Am I deaf to your voice? Are my eyes blind to your majesty?
Do you know the story of King David and Bathsheba? (2 Samuel 11) King David was known as the man after God’s own heart. God loved David. And David loved God. He was blessed in his leadership because he listened to God. One day, David sees Bathsheba, tempted by her beauty, he sends for her. Long story short, Bathsheba ends up pregnant and King David ends up plotting her husband’s murder.
Where was God? Why didn’t God stop him from being so awful?
If you take the time to read the entire story, you will see that David was given many opportunities to turn away and go another road. From the very moment David heard her name, he was told she was married. Do you think God was giving David opportunities to turn away from his sin? Absolutely! But, sometimes even the greatest men fall to their own justifications.
God never leaves us. We just stop listening.
God sends a messenger to David and shows him how he separated himself from God. If you have a moment, read Psalm 51, where David confesses his sin.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love, according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” Psalm 51:1
Jesus was sent to die for us because we are in need of his healing. Even when we have it all together, we are in need of his mercies. When we lose sight of his face, become deaf to his words, we are in need of His grace. Even the greatest of God’s people turn their backs and put their own desires above their love for God.
“Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” (Jesus) Mark 2:17
God hasn’t stopped speaking. God hasn’t stopped being present.
Perhaps we’ve stopped praying for healing?
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10