To do or not to do….that is the question. Well, at least for me. I’m always at odds with myself wondering whether I’m serving God enough or am I too busy. First of all, my frame of mind is never enough…on anything. I’m not teaching well enough. I’m not patient enough. I’m not a good enough mother or wife. I’m not spending enough time with this matter or that one. Even in times of rest, I’m never completely relaxed because I can barely be at ease at whether I’m doing or being enough.
In this mindset, you might think that I’m adding more to my plate in an attempt to remedy, but I’m not. I could….there’s plenty of work to be done. After all “the workers are few.” I’m not because I’ve realized that I’ve lost sight of the One whom I’ve been serving. I’ve gotten so caught up, at times, in the service that I would forget or not have time for my Savior who mostly just wants me…not what I’m doing. Don’t get me wrong, we are supposed to reach out and to love our neighbor; serving is part of that. That is another blog for another time. I’m referring to those times where we feel that we need to be a part of this ministry, leading that group, and serving in this matter in order to feel that we are doing enough. Guess what, though, it’ll never be enough.
Christ saved the world. We never could. We can’t even save ourselves. In his devotion, “My Utmost for His Highest”, Oswald Chambers knew this well and addresses it. “Goodness and purity should never be traits that draw attention to themselves, but simply be magnets that draw people to Jesus Christ. If my holiness is not drawing others to Him, it is not the right kind of holiness; it is only an influence which awakens undue emotions and evil desires in people and diverts them from heading in the right direction. A person who is a beautiful saint can be a hindrance in leading people to the Lord presenting Jesus Christ to Himself. Others will be left with this thought, – “What a fine person that man is!”…..I am increasing all the time, He is not.” Chambers goes on to explain, “To maintain this friendship and faithfulness to the Bridegroom, we have to be more careful to have the moral and vital relationship to Him above everything else, including obedience. Sometimes, there is nothing to obey and our only task is to maintain a vital connection with Jesus Christ.”
In other words, why am I measuring the quantity of what I’m doing or not doing? It’s not a matter of what I’m doing that’s enough, but am I allowing Christ to be enough in me? When I think about the people and circumstances that surround my everyday, not sought out or created ministries, my EVERYDAY, I don’t have to look hard or far to find hurt, sin, and darkness. If He is my enough, then He is outshining me, though it is through me, that words are done and actions are spoken. If my desire is for this, then my first and foremost action should not be to find something to do, but to find someplace to go and be with Him. Maintaining that connection first will overflow Him in every other aspect of my life.
He is my Enough.
“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”~ Jesus…(John 15:4-5)