Separation Anxiety

I just got a kiss on the cheek and a hug which I eagerly returned the gesture as we are saying good-bye for the day. It’s never easy letting him go even for a day, let alone a night.  Five minutes out, I already feel the void that his space usually feels when we are at home and it makes me ache a little bit. I will see him again in the morning and all will be right again, but I cringe at the thought of permanent separation.

I have some family members that aren’t talking to me right now. Each has a different reason. Although it being a mere difference in perspectives and lack of communication, it still doesn’t feel right. Sometimes, I think of something stupid to share and my first inclination is to text it to them, but I sadly remember that I can’t just yet. I have full confidence that God will bring the situation to right and healthy relationships, but for now I can feel the separation even though we live distances apart.

To an extent, I have an idea of how God must feel about losing one of us. It’s not about life and death for Him. It’s not about being good or bad. It’s about the complete, ultimate, eternal separation from Him. While living, those of us who are unbelievers, are separated. Yet, as long as we are still breathing, we have the chance to willingly return to Him and take our spot in His family. Our time, though, is borrowed. We do die. We spend eternity somewhere. The world will come into judgment and the separation will be eternal. I don’t want to know what this is like and I definitely don’t want to imagine friends or family in that scenario. I can’t help but wonder, then, am I not taking this serious enough?

~Janean