Beauty Marks

I’m going to take another huge risk of transparency with this blog. God told me it was time to bare this, for many suffer and do not share their struggles out of shame. Yet those of us who allow shafts of light to pierce our dark places find that there are others who have similar burdens, and that breaking the conspiracy of silence is the first step to healing. Sisters and brothers who are filled with the Holy Spirit gladly come alongside to support, pray, and stand in the gap.

As many of you may or may not know, I struggle with deep, debilitating, clinical depression, complicated with PTSD {post-traumatic-stress-disorder}. Many times, I have what I call “SOS pad days” where it feels like someone has flayed back my skin and is scouring the bare exposed nerve endings with a soapy steel wool pad. It is actually physically painful. There are many who completely understand what I am talking about here. It is tough to focus on anything for very long on these days, making getting anything accomplished look like a gargantuan, Herculean task.

God is not insensitive to this pain, but still allows me to go through it, because it teaches me how to depend totally on Him for my very life, breath, and even willingness to continue on in this battlefield of life. Focusing on Him and His sufficiency is the only life raft any of us have in this world that is controlled by the devil and his minions.

Matthew 11: 28-29 {NASB}
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,
for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

A good part of Jesus’ instruction for us lies in giving my toxic shame into His hands. Like many others, I had taken not only the shame for my own sins, but those committed against me, as I believed that those wounds must also somehow be my fault or responsibility, something inherently wrong with me. The truth is that it doesn’t really matter whose fault or responsibility they are, because they are ALL covered under the blood of Jesus. The only difference lies in how those things are dealt with, which brings me to the heart of the subject.

All healing, at its base, boils down to either repentance or forgiveness, founded on the abundance of sufficiency in Christ’s sacrifice. To the extent that we are willing to allow Jesus access to our “hidden” things, Father God uses the power of the blood of Jesus through the Holy Spirit to actually REMOVE the source of wounding and pain. Then our scars become dazzling sculptures, portraits of God’s love to a dying world. They become beauty marks.

Colossians 1: 12-14 {NASB}
“Giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share
in the inheritance of the saints in Light,
for He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us
to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have
redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

James 5: 15-16 {NASB}
“The prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is
sick, and the Lord will raise him up,
and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another
so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of
a righteous man can accomplish much.”

We were meant to be a family as a church. We were meant to live in cohesive trust and cooperation, as many parts of the same body. Our healing depends upon Him alone, yet helping one another along the way, standing in the gap, holding one another up to Father God is the mainstay of life in the church. We need each other.

Ephesians 4: 15-16 {NASB}
“But speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects
into Him who is the head, even Christ,
from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by
what every joint supplies, according to the proper
working of each individual part,
causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.”

I will be praying for you about these things; I ask that you pray for me also, so that all of us together can minister to the world Father God’s heart aches to reach with His limitless love.
~ Denise


2 thoughts on “Beauty Marks

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  1. Great post, Denise. It’s amazing the beauty that happens when God takes hold of us and our hurts. :o) I’m reminded of a favorite passage, Lamentations 3:19-26. Will be praying for you! :o)

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