I’m short. I’ve always been short. Not just short, but really short. I’ve heard all the jokes; I’ve heard all the songs. I’m even pretty sure that I’ve had all the nicknames associated with or eluding to my lack of verticalness. I have a stool to get around in my kitchen and I’ve learned to climb up things pretty well. I have to put my seat up pretty high in my jeep so I can have an adequate view over my steering wheel. I get mistaken for a kid. I can wear kid’s shoes, but I’m not a fan of Hannah Montana so I stuff my big girls’ shoes to wear them. I’ve never minded my size too much. It’s just a physical trait and can’t change that I’m short anymore than I can change the color of my skin.
I can relate to Zaccheus. If you are unfamiliar with the guy, he is the tax collector who wished to see Jesus so he had to climb a tree to see over all the giant freaks’ heads. Zaccheus not only couldn’t see Jesus, but he assumed that he couldn’t be seen either. You see, Zaccheus, felt as small in spirit as he did in the flesh. He felt his inferiority beyond his stature. He was not only a sinner, but a nobody. It’s not his stature or his ability to climb trees that I can identify with, it’s his feeling small on the inside that I understand. At an early age, I was extremely aware of my shortcomings.
I often have jokingly referred to myself as a midget, JOKINGLY, I’m not really one…..I’m not! However, I was okay and amused by my outside stature, but was internally insecure about all that I was lacking inside. I never felt that I could ever measure up, even though I wanted to. I never felt that I could ever get close to God and I definitely never felt that He would possibly notice me. The process of my undoing began about 7 years ago. A lady at a church I was attending prayed for me, she didn’t know me. She didn’t know how I felt about myself. She prayed for me. I don’t remember everything that she spoke over me, but I remember one sentence very clearly. “My child, there are no midget’s in the kingdom of God.” Of all the things that God could tell me, He told me that.
The words have never left me, but I have to say, I have struggled with fully understanding them. It’s only been recently that I have begun to know that God working through me, makes up for all that I’m not. I’ve given God the license to be great in my life, in the big and small things. In Him, I stand tall. Even though I fall short, He rises up in me like a strong tower. His awesome power is revealed in my failures. His strength is more easily seen in my weakness. It’s my hope that it is He that people see more in me everyday not because I’m doing anything great but because of the great things He’s doing in me. As I forget myself more, the more He will have space to work. Great or small is neither here nor there, it’s being an empty vessel to be filled up and poured up is what God is seeking. Greater is He who is in me………and there are no midgets in the kingdom of God.
I’m a tree climber. Striving is what I do best. I’ve had to work hard for just about everything because very little has been handed to me. I don’t say this with resentment; I’ve always accepted having to work and knew I was capable. However, God can only have his way in me and through me when I enter His rest. This is and always has been my struggle. It’s one aspect of His grace that has been a difficult to understand because I’ve been conditioned to believe otherwise. To accept His grace that He’s where I’m at and I don’t have to climb up something to meet Him and to enter into His rest while He works everything else out. I can’t wait to see the end result. ~Janean
Hebrews 4: 14 Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. 16 Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.