Pillar of Salt

A little over 8 years ago God changed my life at the exact moment I asked Him to.

I was sitting in a circle of women saying how “If God asked me to give up everything to follow Him, I would.” Luckily, He only asked for a few things. Within a short 3 months I was living in Iowa, 2000 miles away from everything I knew.

Lately, I have been thinking about Lot’s Wife and how she looked back on her town that she was being commanded to flee. I was thinking about her heart and realized there have been many days recently where I have been looking back from where I came, with a longing to be there again. Sometimes I wonder if God would have used me still, if I had stayed.

I miss friends and old neighborhoods but mostly I am missing my family. My Grandma is fighting with every breath against cancer and I just want to be there to make her a cup of coffee and sit with her. I want to lighten the load on my family as they struggle to love one another and care for our Grandmother. Most of my family doesn’t know God, doesn’t know the freedom that comes from grace. Couldn’t God use me there?

I had a woman from my small group tell me when I was leaving Oregon that, “God will take better care of them than you can.”

Thankfully, by the grace of God, I will not turn to a pillar of salt when I question where God has placed me. Deep down in my very soul, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, walking the road I meant to walk. Some days my heart deceives me and tells me I belong somewhere else. Today, I understand why Lot’s Wife looked back and I am thankful I am given the chance to turn around and move forward.


 Proverbs 16: 9 In their hearts humans plan their course,
   but the LORD establishes their steps.


3 thoughts on “Pillar of Salt

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  1. Angela, I needed to hear this today! Thank you for sharing about your experiences with God moving you where He wants you to be for Him. I’ve often questioned where I am physically, because I’ve never really felt that I “fit in” properly much of anywhere. But you have reminded me that we belong wherever He puts us, that He has work for us to do, even if we end up somewhere “by mistake”, due to our own sin. We can grow and serve Him wherever we are planted.

  2. Angela, I think being here, I look back so much more often. Especially when I drive to Salem and see familiar places we have shared life together. It is especially hard with holidays and birthdays and special events when I look around to see a broken family and long to share it with someone who values life as I do. I pray often for you and your family and selfishly pray that you will return “home” again someday . Yet, deep down I know that you were called to be just where you are today and that the few years that you have been away are just little compared to the time we’ll have in eternity. The work that God has set out for us is not always what we want to do, plan to do, or expect to do. It is with a thankful heart that I remember you and know that you are serving the Lord with all your heart, mind and body. Your friend was right, God does take better care of us than anyone else, but it sure would be nice to have a big sister hug today. I love you.

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