For a long time, God has been talking to me about letting go of old “stuff”, and allowing Him to work His healing and growth in me in those weaker places in my life. I have a tendency to become withdrawn and solitary when I am not progressing as I think I should in my walk with God through life. I fall back on the “good old German work ethic” I was brought up with, berating myself when I do not live up to its standards and ideals. I can hear the words echoing in my head, “Well, what’s the matter with you? Haven’t you been taught better than this?”
I know that I need to allow Jesus to transform old patterns by Him renewing my mind and heart. It’s difficult to let go of control! My mind was the only thing I had control of through many situations in my life, and now God is saying He wants me to give that up to Him! The truth is that the tighter we try to hold onto control, the less control we actually have over whatever problem we’re trying to address. And that brings me to what I believe is the basis of most sin problems in this life: FEAR. Fear that our needs won’t be met. Fear that we aren’t good enough. Fear that we will not be loved. Fear of being alone.
Jesus has said that He will never leave us nor forsake us, that He has us inscribed into the palm of His hand. He sees the big picture while we only see “through a glass darkly” as the Word tells us in I Corinthians 13:12. He sees where we have been, where we are, and where we will go. He can be trusted because He has shown over and over that He cares for us. His righteousness is enough to cover us! He has the strength, the wherewithal, the love, the foresight to understand what is correct, what is needed, what is the most loving. I can allow myself to fall backward off that cliff of uncertainty into His arms with no fear, because He has it all under His control.