Throwing Darts

I don’t like admitting this, but I’ve been really struggling with some recent management decisions at work. I can’t go into the details, and truth be told… they aren’t relevant to the point of this blog. What I can share is my reaction to those decisions. At first, I tried to remain mature and take the bad news in stride. You know… keep my chin up and all that. Then my flesh took over… and I began to dwell on the many implications this would have on my future plans. Immaturity and anger set in. I began to paint a picture of the people who made these decisions in my mind. And to be honest, I began to regard them as some kind of enemy standing in the way of my happiness. I then began throwing insults and criticism… like darts.. I damage their image. After many days of anguish, and no relief in sight… I resolve to move on. I do not accept their choices.. but move on none the less. Feeling completely defeated, I tear down their images in my mind, and set the pierced and torn photos down. Just then, I feel compelled to turn the photographs over. I don’t know why… perhaps it’s my subconscious… helping me turn the troubles away. So I reach down, grab the photos one by one… and turn them face down.

I see the holes I have created by throwing the hurt filled darts… but I see something else as well. On the back of every one of the photos, is an image of Christ, pierced and torn.

 

I’m immediately overcome with regret for my actions…

What have I done…

My mind races… what can I do or say to justify this…

I am ashamed…

Then suddenly I hear a voice…

I forgive you Ted

 

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5 thoughts on “Throwing Darts

    1. Thanks Nick. I’ve spent some time in Matthew this week. Particularly the “Love Your Enemy” teachings around Matt 5:43. I understand the folks involved are probably doing what they’ve been told to do… but I still took it personal. Then Matthew 15:31 hit home… regarding the parable of separating the Sheep and Goats. I’m not suggesting anyone involved is “evil” or “cursed” of course. I’m just feeling convicted by the part where Jesus says “whatever you’ve done to the least of these, you’ve done to me”. After reading this it was clear I wasn’t handling it the right way.

  1. Ted, your honesty is refreshing! I have gone through that exact same scenario in my head many times with respect to different situations at work, at school, and even at home when I have become angry and resentful towards family members. Jesus then points out the broken and sinful state of my own heart, and I realize that I must forgive.

    Whether the decisions are good or bad in this world, whether they were born of good intentions or someone’s selfish sin makes no difference. I am reminded of Jesus’ response to Peter when Peter asked Jesus what was to happen to the apostle John. Jesus said, “What is that to you? You follow me.” For the only thing that matters in the end, as you pointed out, is “Whatever you have done to the least of these My brethren, you have done to Me.”

    One other thing…I’ve also found that God can redeem/change/turn around anything in this life, including the decisions of others. Sometimes He uses situations to test us, but He always works things to the good of those that love Him and serve Him. Romans 8:28. You may find that the outcome will be much different than what it looks like now. In any case, He is working with you to make you look more like Him…and sometimes the chisel He uses to do that isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world…believe me, I know.

  2. Appreciate your honesty. Thank you Ted for reminding us all it’s ok to be human, but we must pick ourselves up from our mistakes, dust ourselves off, and let God do what He does best!

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